just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
