Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
