Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
