A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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