so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
