I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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