eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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