I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize