Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
