I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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