I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
