Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
3 2 1 whiskey
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
