I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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