yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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