Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize