I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
