Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize