Swine flu is the new snow day.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
