How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
