Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
