I just cut my nipple shaving
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
