it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
