Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
