Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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