She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
