didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i came on her dog
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
