He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We left the knife in your bed.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
