Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize