So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
