I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
