this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize