My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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