is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
