he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
A+ Viking dick
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
