Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
