i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize