A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
