Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
