I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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