So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This baby is an asshole
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
