Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
