I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
