i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
