Nicole vs. Life
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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