I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
