Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
