wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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