I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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