She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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