Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
