Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
