she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
