Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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