why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I believe in your delicious
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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