Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
