i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
