actually, I'm a sock model
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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