Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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