I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
