lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
