yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
