well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Come on in and take your pants off
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