he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
