If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
