watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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