Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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