babies were throwing up all over the place
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
