pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
