dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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