Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
