They should really pass out barf bags in church
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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