I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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