"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
