Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Hey its my first time.

(513): View more from Ohio

I think you mean "it's my first time"

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just google imaged poop.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?

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(708): View more from Illinois

So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.

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(512): View more from Texas

apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.

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(727): View more from Florida

and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.

(214): View more from Texas

I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I am drunk shake weighting right now.

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