oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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