Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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