My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
